Fuck php

Seriously, fuck it. Not only for it long-standing inconsistencies in the “user API”, no, I’ve rarely seen a piece of source code crap with such a low comment / code ratio.

What I’m trying to do? Debugging SoapClient from ext/soap and figure out why it ignores my typemap. Yes, there is a trace mode – but this will only fill the “private” __getLastXXX() methods, so I’m doing printf() debugging, within PHP’s source, as if it would be 1996 again. An amazing blaze from the past.

Oh, and in case you wonder if PHP can finally fully interoperate with other standard SOAP servers like Apache’s Axis, no, it still can’t. The developer of ext/soap is busy with other tasks these days, quoting him “[…] your WSDL uses overloaded functions […] and ext/soap doesn’t support them. I hardly believe it’ll support them in the future, in case nobody provide a patch.”, but hey, the aforementioned bug is only open for 5 or so years, right?

Apparently those people who give PHP the “enterprise ready” notion now are just waiting until SOAP died completly and everything has been replaced by the next best thing or what? Stupid morons, they should look at the source code of their “product”, think about it for ten seconds and finally run away screaming loud and beg the lord for forgiveness.

8 thoughts on “Fuck php”

  1. Fucking aye! I am sick of all this PHP bullshit and the lack of documentation as well! I seriously beleive it is like reinventing the wheel. Why does such a language exist? Grrr @ PHP I want to bring down their site and everyone involved

    As a side note, this is what I googled to find this blog: SOAP php server WHERE THE “FUCK” IS THE DOCUMENTATION

    Im so over it.

  2. and i got here from typing in “php fucking sucks”. sitting here trying to figure out how to solve a problem caused by a bug which apparently is already 5 years old. isset with arrays. fucking retarded. serously

  3. I say, FUCK PHP TO ALL FUCKING HELL.

    i stopped programming PHP in 1996 after about 3 months of that UTTER pulling my hair out with that SHIT. 3 full days spent on an error caused by a white space character, of course invisible to the eye. fuck you php. so switched to java. not that its perfect, but at least you get some fucking compilation errors. Jesus F Christ. For that matter, FUCK ALL SCRIPTING LANGUAGES. All are pieces of shit. For further fucks sake, FUCK THE World Wide Web and its session based, request/response networking. Fuck WWW.

    Little known fact, PHP stands for Personal Home Page.

    Put these damn crap scripting languages to hell. Hopefully with VM Ware on ‘clouds’ one can use C/C++/Obj-C on a common basis. At least thats what rackspace seems to offer. root access. awesome. thank you for the rant.

  4. Fuck PHP!

    I’ve read the manual about strpos, it said: This function may return Boolean FALSE, but may also return a non-Boolean value which evaluates to FALSE, such as 0 or “”. You fucking morons!

    Why in the world there’s such scripting language like PHP?

  5. its bizarre and astounding that the world wide web is built on scripting languages. so many collective hours (multi-millions) wasted on fucking useless activities that could be found during compilation. fucking assholes

  6. Hmm. I wonder if anyone else has come across this bullshit apparently caused by WHITESPACE after the closing ?>. Fucking tards. What the fuck . Still after 15 years, whitespace issues.

    This page contains the following errors:

    error on line 6 at column 6: XML declaration allowed only at the start of the document Below is a rendering of the page up to the first error.

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